Chuck Norris

[phil]

Just for fun lets start a section for chuck norris jokes. I'll start......Ahem.

If you have 5 dollars and chuck norris has 5 dollars chuck norris has more money than you.

If you google chuck norris getting his ass kicked you get zero results....it just dosnt happen.

Chucks tears can cure cancer.....to bad he never cries.

Chuck dosnt have pubic hair....hair cant grow on steel.

[Serika]

Nothing escapes Chuck's senses. He can see into the past and smell into the future.

Chuck has no need for power drills. He can drill a hole in any surface with his dick.

Scientists have created the artificial tears of Chuck Norris in a lab. They call it... Mountain Dew!!

[dragonfox2004]

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls

When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways

[Loki275]

Chuck Norris doesn't push himself away from the earth, he pushes the earth away from him.

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

Chuck Norris visited the virgin islands once, now they're just called the islands.

[packrat]

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink.  We now know that drink as Red Bull.

I remember a joke about Chuck making a deal with the devil, but i can't remember the whole thing.

[FallenStar]

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Chuck Norris is so good that he can not only play E.T. (for Atari), but make it the most successful video game of all time.

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*runs*

[wunderwutzl]

BruceLlee can only kill Chuck Norris in MOVIES!!! ( Okay, meanwhile even the Grandchildren of Bruce Lee´s fellow Chinese Actors could most likely kill Chuck Norris in Real Life, old and weak as he became, but...)

[phil]

chuck norris once walked through a village with an erection......there were no survivers

chuck norris can touch MC hammer

chuck norris invented the colour blue....in fact he invented the entire colour spectrum....excpet pink...tom cruise invented pink

In texas they have no religion...only the chruch of chuck norris

in the begining there was nothing, until chuck norris walked up to that nothing, roundhouse kicked it and said get a job. thus the unvierse began

[Merchant_Of_Death]

Chuck Norris killed Cancer.

[AliasnameTO]

Chuck Norris knits sweaters... But by knits I mean kicks, and by sweaters I mean babies.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books; he presses them for information.

Chuck Norris has never had to mow his lawn. All he does is stare at it and dare it to grow.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.



... aaand, in the spirit of the season!

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man present when Jesus was born. After he found out that he had been excluded from the bible, all involved died of roundhouse-related causes.

XD And another thing! There are apparently rumors going around that he's running for president in 2012. Can you imagine?!?!