The news article discussion topic

[FallenStar]

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2530899-josh-smith-claims-69-million-salary-with-clippers-will-be-harder-on-family?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial

Articles like this and athletes like this piss me the fuck off. 

"Wahhh, wahhh! I'm making 6 million dollars and it's still not enough!"

Give me a fucking break...  what a spoiled brat. 

[Serika]

Yeah, i know. My high school science teacher, who was a big sports fan, once complained about this and said he wanted to be a pro athlete so bad he would have paid THEM to have that honor.

If he doesn't want that 7 million i'd take it. I could buy my own house and never have to work another day in my life.

[Serika]

Pee-proof: San Francisco trials paint that repels urine
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-33682342

Oh here's a good one. This paint is like casting a reflect spell on the building. The urine will bounce back and hit you in the leg. They do this to keep bums and tourists from peeing all over the city. That's pretty damn funny, and it's a good idea to clean up the neighborhood, but let's be honest i'm sure there are plenty of ways to get around this if all the nearby walls are painted and your bladder is about to explode.

1. Stand further back. Reflected urine can only travel so far.

2. Pee on the ground. In all likelihood they will not paint the roads with this.

3. Place a foreign object in front of the wall. Something like rag or even a piece of cardboard will do.

4. Pee in a container of some sort. Boxes, garbage cans, dumpsters, ect...

5. Pee on something that simply can't be painted, like garbage, or a tree, or a car tire.

6. Pee on the wall at an angle to control where the trajectory. Think of it like a game of pool.

7. Pee in a cup and slowly pour it over the painted wall.

Last but not least... pee your pants! That'll show 'em! <3

[FallenStar]

http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/04/americas/chile-elderly-woman-fetus/?iid=ob_article_footer_expansion&iref=obinsite

What in the he....  HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?!   Dur.. I broked my braine readinge thise. 

[Serika]

That is very, very odd. A miscarriage does not simply go unnoticed. You have to wonder how any woman could be so unaware of her own body her entire life.

[Serika]

US man loses job offer after sending naked selfies to boss
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-34143079

If you think his résumé is too small just wait till you see his dick! FYI, you still have to wear SOMETHING on casual Fridays.

[FallenStar]

http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/13/us/google-self-driving-car-pulled-over/index.html


xFD!

"Sir, I wasn't speeding, honest! I'm non-corporeal!"   

[Serika]

I wonder if the cop would pepper spray/taze the car if it were resisting arrest? Handcuff the steering wheel? Stick a breathalyzer in the exhaust pipe? xD

[Drying]

That would depend on the color of the car, Serika.

[Serika]

That would depend on the color of the car, Serika.

Ohhhh, good one.

[Serika]

Florida man charged with 'throwing alligator' into fast-food restaurant
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35534633
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si9duk125SE

Pranksters in Florida are insane. That wasn't a baby alligator either, it was at least 3 feet long!

I guess it's more clever than making farting noises into the intercom and rearranging the letters to spell out dirty words. :p

[Serika]

Chef prepared curry after wiping bottom with his bare hands 'for cultural reasons'
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/chef-prepared-curry-after-wiping-7745790

Already showed this to Star but figured i'd leave it here anyway.

Kinda ruins the old joke, "Which hand do you wipe with?"

[Serika]

Marijuana chemical contaminates Colorado town's water
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-36864432

Residents of a small town in the US state of Colorado have been told not to drink tap water after THC, the psychoactive chemical in marijuana, was found in one of the area's wells.

Sales of Mountain Dew are going to see a sharp drop-off in this town now that all the local teenagers are filling up on tap water but the sales of Doritos and Cheetos might go up.

Come to think of it, this is probably the ONLY way you're going to get your kids to start drinking more water and less soda.

[Serika]

'Fart' in parliament: Row blows up in Canada
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38037187

Okay, so i clicked on this expecting something else. I thought someone in parliament just TORE ASS and ripped one, but this is even dumber. Someone said the word fart and another MP got all offended by it. The first MP refused to apologize and started blowing a lot of hot air while the second MP got anal over her lauguage.

What a waste of tax dollars. This stinks.

[Serika]

Canada mint worker who hid $130,000 of gold in rectum jailed
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38848211

Guy smuggles gold in his butt. I think we've finally found an appropriate use for that golden toilet in New York.

Investigators found vaseline and latex gloves in the mint employee's locker.

Haha, this sounds like a fictitious story a 10 year old would write.

Judge Doody said these items...

LOLOLOL! This can't be real. This sounds like something *I* would write. xD