The news article discussion topic

[Serika]

Urinating man causes injuries on Berlin boat

What a disaster.

[FallenStar]

The hell? What kind of low-lying bridge is that that people could jump up on a boat and hit their heads?! 

[Serika]

The hell? What kind of low-lying bridge is that that people could jump up on a boat and hit their heads?! 

Small bridges. These are often built for foot traffic rather than cars, but not always. You might see them over shallow rivers or creeks, where there's a road and the locals couldn't just go around the creek.

What's strange is that you're usually not allowed to take boats under these bridges. My town, at least, has the small bridges fenced off so you can't go under them.

[FallenStar]

In that case, I wouldn't blame the guy urinating so much as I'd blame the boat captain for taking the boat under such a low bridge in the first place.

[FallenStar]

https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/28/us/iowa-gender-reveal-death/index.html

And I thought Florida man was dumb.   

[Serika]

https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/28/us/iowa-gender-reveal-death/index.html

And I thought Florida man was dumb.   

Oh definitely. Recipe for disaster if you're not trained to handle explosives.

A lot of people who build pipe bombs for malicious purposes set the damn thing off while they're working on it. The important thing to remember is that drilling or cutting metal creates SPARKS, and if you put the gunpowder in before drilling the fuse hole... you're not going to be a happy camper. :p

[Serika]

Human urine forces cinema evacuation in Washington state

Okay, gonna be honest with you, I saw the headline and thought someone wet her pants up at the back and caused a commotion when it started flowing down towards the front, with people jumping out of their seats and running towards the exit. Maybe some dumb, CUTE girl had way too much to drink and didn't use the bathroom before the movie started, and was too embarrassed to get up and leave, and sat there with her knees knocking together until she finally exploded. Gravity pulls it toward the front, and there's so much pee it gets people's shoes wet, tips over soft drinks that were on the floor, and washes foreign objects like purses and cellphones towards the front. People are screaming, yelling "Eww gross!" and running away, while this girl is sitting near the back, wearing her pee-pee pants and crying.

Then I imagined some guy causing trouble on purpose, standing on a seat and pointing his dick at people, and giving them golden showers. Maybe he snapped and went postal and yelled, "Fear the wrath of the Urinator, bwahaha!" He pisses in someone's popcorn, gets a few people right in the face, and starts waving his dick all over the place like a hose without a fireman behind it. Some guys consider trying to stop him, but in the end they don't want to risk getting pissed on, so they just leave and call the police. Finally, after several cops get pissed on and run away, Batman swings down and knocks him out.

But as it turns out, reality is infinitely less interesting that what I imagined, and it was just a package delivery that was meant to go to a clinic instead. Awwww...

[FallenStar]

Then I imagined some guy causing trouble on purpose, standing on a seat and pointing his dick at people, and giving them golden showers. Maybe he snapped and went postal and yelled, "Fear the wrath of the Urinator, bwahaha!" He pisses in someone's popcorn, gets a few people right in the face, and starts waving his dick all over the place like a hose without a fireman behind it. Some guys consider trying to stop him, but in the end they don't want to risk getting pissed on, so they just leave and call the police. Finally, after several cops get pissed on and run away, Batman swings down and knocks him out.

Why do I get the feeling this is fanfic fuel?

[FallenStar]

https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/video-game-airport-trnd/index.html

wtf

[Serika]

https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/video-game-airport-trnd/index.html

wtf

Haha!! This guy was like, "Fuck a Gameboy! I'm gonna stuff a goddamn PS4 in my luggage!"

I wonder what else he had in his bags? Just imagine if he also brought an Xbox One and a WiiU with him. That is one dedicated gamer. xD

[darklok]

https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/video-game-airport-trnd/index.html

wtf

Haha!! This guy was like, "Fuck a Gameboy! I'm gonna stuff a goddamn PS4 in my luggage!"

I wonder what else he had in his bags? Just imagine if he also brought an Xbox One and a WiiU with him. That is one dedicated gamer. xD

I think a WiiU would be the biggest slap in the face you could do to an airport. From all the things you could've plugged to play, you choose a system that's doesn't even need to be plug in, and hasn't any good games!
.... I wanna see that happen xD (thought, with the switch out... that won't ever happen now u _u

[FallenStar]

https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/28/us/good-morning-america-will-reeve-no-pants-trnd/index.html


Big ol' WHOOPS on that one. 

[Serika]

https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/28/us/good-morning-america-will-reeve-no-pants-trnd/index.html

Hey Homie, I can see your doodle!

/Ned Flanders

But seriously, this is a bad dream that got somehow got dragged into reality.

[FallenStar]

https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/05/us/5-year-old-driver-utah-trnd/index.html

Kids keep wanting to grow up earlier and earlier.   

[Serika]

'Master Thief' burglar hopes to catch break on sentence

What do you get when you have a tiny brain, a HUGE ego, and no moral compass whatsoever? A prison sentence!

So, guy accidentally sets fire to the money he was planning to steal and walks away with about 10% of the vault's fortune. He gets caught, refuses a plea bargain, and represents himself in his own criminal trial.